Well I made it. 100 posts and... no one's blogging anymore lol! Oh well, allows me to be more brave here I suppose (like 99 posts ago when two people read this). The purpose of this blog was to get a special someone's friendship, and it worked! Those innocent days (not my innocence probably) of blogging seem long past and here I stand at a new threshold of... well, I don't know. A lot has changed in 100 posts. Some things for the better, and others for the better when we 'grudgingly-accept-our-trials-as-self-improvement'.
This blog has been a magnificent tool for me to speak without interruption, to finish a thought, and to pour out my heart when it has become full. It's funny, I never realized the actual distance I between my family and me until I started getting phone calls about things I wrote hah. There have been some startling realizations I've had about that fact. I've never looked at my relationships with my family so closely before. We get so used to the way we interact with one another I never stopped to ask "Is this how it's supposed to be?". And that is a very powerful question to me, because I've never questioned if I had a good enough relationship with my sisters? Do I communicate well enough with my parents? etc. And now, I cannot help but ask these questions and reflect on my life in regards to them. And I consider all those things good things because I champion communication above all of my aspiring virtues. I am sadly inadequate at times however, and become a hypocrite when I am willing to dance around issues in my little box of safety, instead of picking up a phone.
Hope, Love, and friendship were some of my favorite topics, but currently, I feel lacking. I tasted the potential for real love and lost it, and am now... dealing with it. A councilor says a year or more to move on from having loved, so I imagine to be better off maybe. But at my current rate of spreading my love around, that could be an optimistic conjecture. I don't resent anything that happened to me in that situation, I really don't, it is my habit to accept trials as for my betterment. But pain doesn't accept it's betterment, it stares right back at you waiting for you to second guess yourself (and knowing me, you can image how that goes lol).
I want to thank all of you for posting here, sharing your thoughts, even when you didn't feel you had any heh. Commenting on the blog is the equivalent of hearing a "hmm, I hear you brotha". I can't thank you all enough for having reciprocated so frequently and lovingly. In a month it will be just about a year since the inception of this blog, and that's not significant, it's just I can't believe it's been a year since then... normally I would try to think of something witty with a broad philosophical sounding summary for the past year, but, there's no need to summarize or cheapen life with those words. Besides, I have 100 posts documenting most of it.
So, here's to 100 Posts!
-Aaron
