As I sit here looking at this blank white screen I wonder what I want to write about, I think about what life has been like, wonder what other people are doing in their lives, think about what I'm going to do tomorrow... Nothing comes to mind.
Some people don't have vivid dreams, and some people who do, aren't affected by them, I don't fit into either of those categories. I have amazingly vivid dreams and they stay with me, as some have stayed with me for years. I'm sure there's a psychological reason for that, something about not knowing who you are and looking for answers from the subconsciousness or something like that, but because they are so real, I always behave realistically in relation to my conscious self and am never in control of their outcomes. Some very painful or even happy moments happen for me in these dreams that I actually don't know if I would be willing to fully commit to imagine if I chose to imagine them while awake. That is obviously a character flaw, as I struggle with stuff in life like everyone. It's a strange feeling to feel subconsciously apprehensive about going to sleep because of what's waiting for you in your dreams. I'm not really talking about any time specific, but a recent bad dream made me think about how it affected me and that day, and I hate not understanding and not being in control.
So, on a lighter note, this is my 99th post. I'll have to think of something special to do for my 100th post... I have no idea when it will be put up, and it might just be the last one on this thing as I've moved over to the lazy connection of facebook. We'll see, wouldn't be a bad thing to wrap up this introspection and drama of that is Aaron's life on the 100th posting.
-A
