Let's all take a breath and relax shall we? I mean, I kinda freaked out last night to be honest. Last night really wasn't about Jess (I talked to her today, she said I could use her name) It was about me and some frustrations I have in my life and have had in the past. I realized I haven't really talked about all that, and I wasn't totally fair to Jen either. Really most the people involved with me are just a by standards to my wake of analysis.
I won't lie, I'm feeling pretty good right now. I feel at ease, calm, collected, somewhat reflective. There are some pressing questions I don't have the answer to, and to follow suite with my new attitude, I'm okay with that. Maybe I don't need the answer right now to feel okay. Maybe just feeling good right now is good enough. Because I honestly don't think there are answers to some of the questions that I have, certainly not sweeping general answers (like the ones I'm so fond of). Can men and women ever be pure friends (enough books and movies have tackled this and I've never seen evidence of it... but does that make it not true?)? Are the feelings that one might share for the other person progressive? Ensuring an inevitable blow out of feelings once more? And more importantly, are these things true for me. I don't know if anyone can answer that question but me.
To ensure avalanches don't happen, demolition men plant charges and force them in controlled, safe ways so no one gets hurt. It was but a snow flake that caused this avalanche, no one saw it coming, luckily everyone made it out alive and is more respectful of the mountain. It's not wise for us to assume we know everything there is to know, and go skiing on dangerous slopes. It is best handled by professionals... And that's an interesting question too, do I need a psychologist? Maybe I don't need one, no one needs one, but I think everyone can be helped by one.
Anyway, have a good night everyone. I even got a hug, I'm feeling pretty good.
-A
