It's Halloween once more. An ever present problem with feelings is that you associate dates with them. It's futile to revisit memories long past with the sole objective to compare it to current feelings or memories. I suppose it makes me human to do so, but who want's to be human?I took my camera up to the mountain and took some photo's. Some turned out okay, I've got to find a better spot, there were a lot of shotgun shells on the ground. It was pretty great to stand on the hillside feeling the cold wind while I took my time looking closely at the ground or trees or a beetle I found on my car. Buying a nice camera was a great decision for me.
It's frustrating that so much of life is simply adjustments of perspective. Any discovery you
have, any regression you may experience, is simply a change in perspective. Some people possess the ability to share perspective, and teach it to those willing. What enables us to be willing? How much time do we waste in this life trying to not be miserable and find happiness in the small things? It seems like an awful lot to me, but maybe I am not like you. I am not like most people, especially here in this place. I have chosen to think about life challenges with purpose and dedication... unfortunately life does not provide the answers at the pace at which I think, causing me to stumble and draw inaccurate conclusions. It's frustrating when someone learns something fundamental that I missed somehow, and have them share it in an offhanded manner, as if it didn't matter. As if they were simply in the lunch line and got served up the daily meal that turns out was the key to releasing me from weeks/months of contemplation. Obviously I'm reminded to just relax and let it come and go with the flow of things, which I do
frequently. I am pretty happy now-a-days, I have my hobbies, my work, my awful classes, and a couple good friends. The one thing that ties me back in with everyone else is the need to feel loved however. Still looking.
