So, I wrote myself into a corner a few days ago and I was feeling kinda lost in where I was headed with my character. I mean, he was supposed to be this really lost soul and what not, but he was just depressed and lonely, not damned. I wasn't telling the truth about him I realized, so I sat down and wrote out a new conversation he had with someone in the past. I wrote an entirely new character, but the right one I was trying to write from the beginning. This is good and bad, good because now I can write how he would truthfully act in a given situation, and bad because I have 40 pages of him NOT acting that way lol.
School is... school. My philosophy class is going to be a cinch. Thinking abstractly about values and perspectives is something I do naturally, as well as writing them down. So, it's nice to have one class I can just do and not have to worry about.
On a more personal note, I've been going through some... well I don't know what it is, but it sucks lol. Anyway, the suckiness has caused me to grow uneasy in my complacency and moderately sheltered socially life. I would like to have claimed that I made this realization and grew in this way this summer, but the truth of the matter is that isn't what happened. I cheated. I got all the appearances of an improved and happy life, but with one swift (anticipated) kick I was out treading water alone again, wondering how it had happened and wondering WTF was happening to me. Emotional story short, I've decided to work on actively getting stronger, instead of just allowing the appearance of it. Stronger in every way possible, physical, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual. I'm not saying I AM at the moment, but making these decisions has sure helped me feel it already.
-A
