After a much needed hiatus I have decided to write again. There is a constant flow of thought that if I don't put down just disappears with it's origins and it's conclusions, maybe never heard from again.
It is an odd sensation to feel constantly more aware of who you are and what you want. There is always some more aware of who they are and when you meet them, you want to be them. You want to learn from them and figure out how and why they can be so happy in this fairy-tale land of medicated happiness. Someone who feels the underlining sensations of what life is supposed to be, and lives it. The joke is on them as much as it is on us, they don't know any more than we do, and around the denial-go-round goes.
I go to school with children. Not just children of age, which most of them are, but children of the mind. It is a tight world that we live in here. All the same bad things happen, only there exists no safe harbor in which to find footing, save that of the liberal arts classroom where everyones just too nervous to test the waters. For all the benefits of a religious lifestyle, all I see is people trying to live some ridiculous life where you find love and THEN start living. It's no wonder they suggest we get married while we're young, if we get to old we might just figure out what they're actually selling isn't real. In this place, where only one option is weighed, all others are pilled up with no option, weighing equally nothing.
I am constantly bombarded with how stupid this culture is, to the point I'm convinced it's actually a culture of stupidity. I go to college with children raised in a culture of stupidity. And people expect me to date and find a companion here.
I am not meant for this place, or if I am meant for this place, God is cruel.
-A
ps. While I appreciate the comments, I've disabled them. Thank you for reading however.
