I'm so glad to be back out of the.. oh, there's snow here too

So, I'm back from my Christmas vacation. It was a lot of fun regardless of the two feet of snow dumped on unprepared Oregonians/Washingtonians. They don't salt the roads for environmental reasons I guess (the run off of salt water into streams etc.) So it made for an interesting trip all in all. But I got plenty of time in front of a fire with a book (I can't say a good book because The Pillars of Earth was endlessly frustrating). By the end of the book I was reading 2-3 pages a minute because it was so overly descriptive about the same buildings and concerns about each character for 900 pages I realized I could skip 2/3's of it and still get the story just from the bite size morsels of dialog between the pages of description paragraphs, ugh. If being a successful author like Ken Follet means all you gotta do is take a 300 page book and stretch it to 980 pages... Okay, enough with the book bashing, sorry.

I got some wonderful gifts for Christmas. Without a list from me my mom always seems to come up with great ideas I would never have thought of, like new soft sheets. I don't think I've ever had nice soft sheets, something so simple that makes such a big difference in my ability to sleep. My box of food gift cards was another great one. But I think my new backpack for school is my favorite gift, thanks mom and dad!

I made some good story progress on my writing as well. I wrote a couple pages outside of the main story arc, one being a breakup between two of my characters. I think it turned out really well, I'm not sure how to fit it into the story yet, or even if it will make it in there, but it's a fun realistic piece of dialog I think. Sorry, no spoilers yet. Everyone will just have to wait.

I think I need to get into more relationships and religious discussions I've concluded. When things go well, I can write in detail the goodness I feel so much better than when bad things happen (which is a good time for writing the bad times hehe). But it's those life-turning moments that are the most important. Those moments when you can see the big picture, the rounded edges, the layout of the foundation all at once. Those gems of truth. I need more of those, I just wish I could remember more vividly those feelings to articulate them, because those are the true moments and the real morals of books, and why I read books. So far, my book is pretty depressing, good I think, but depressing and I need some happy fun times in life to pick it up otherwise it's going to be a pretty sad story lol. Obviously talented writers don't need to be going through something to write it... but I'm not good yet, so I accept that and I'm trying to work with it. It's another one of my experiments I suppose, let's hope this one goes better than the others haha. But being able to get down some of the stuff I got down is going to really pay off. I write so much better when I'm writing with the conviction of the feeling in my heart. I do much better once I have something to work with I know, so having written parts when I was sad or contemplative are really priceless pieces I couldn't write well without. And yes, I do have some happy moments down as well, but just not as many recently because my story wasn't really calling for them, so don't freak out. It's not going to be Aaron's Heartache Hotel.

-A

ps I got a cold and I've lost my voice completely. So, if you wanted to have some conversation in which you feared I would overrun with my own, now would would seem the appropriate time.

I'm still here... sorta

I'm sure by now I've lost most of my readers. I suppose I spoiled you over the summer and now that it's not summer you think you all deserve a post a week! And I probably could write a post a week considering how much free time I have (insert unemployed jokes here). But the fact of the matter is that a lot of things in my life got too delicate to be writing about it here in the blog. Like I've said before, I've been keeping a sporatic journal of sorts, but recently I've transfered that push to write into my book. Is the book about everything I'm going through and does it contain secrets to what I won't post about? Honestly, no. But writing with that fire that keeps me awake until the early dawn hours and consumes my mind draining everything else from it is some really great writing energy that I can channel. And it gets channeled into something of real value to me instead of ambiguous posts on my blog or letters that no one will ever read in my personal journal. So, most of my writing energies have gone into that.

So, um, it's Christmas, maybe I should talk about that? Don't I have some zaney perspective about it that would make an challening, interesting post? No heh, not really. I do have some thoughts on love and family however. Be honestly grateful for those who love you, and love them back fiercly. It is not enough to merely be family and expect familiar love will be enough to help one another through our lives. The blood bond, which ties us, would give us the strength to die for one another it is not enough to live for one another. And by that I mean being a beacon of love for each other while there is no crisis, while there is no need to rush to the emergency room, no need to be held close and told it's going to be alright. Shamefully I can admit to living a loveless life and I can testify of its reality. It is not so far away as some like to believe I think. Lives can get so dark sometimes, and the darkness can seem to last too long. But without fail, hope is given to those whose hearts burn for light, and light always appears after our hopes. I was blessed with this happening several months ago, and I will be forever grateful for everyone who was there for me for it. I seem to get a little mushy here whenever I talk about hope and love I know, I'm sorry for that... But it's Christmas! So a big fat mushy post is what you're going to get, and like it!!

Merry Christmas everyone, I love you all. And if you Little Orphan Annie fans have your decoder ring ready: ILYSMRN.

-A